I give total props to all those single parents out there. My stint as a "single" parent these last few months has been one of the most exhausting experiences of my life. It is so incredibly draining to fulfill the role of both Mommy and Daddy for a child. I KNOW that Christian can feel the absence of his Daddy, and I cannot WAIT for Nathan to get home! I've learned a few things about myself and this parenting thing through this process:
1. I took for granted the moment when Nathan would walk through the door after work each day. He didn't even have to DO anything, but there was such a sense of relief (HA!) when I knew there was another parent to help take the reigns if needed. :)
2. There is NO DOUBT in my mind the role of a father in the life of a child, especially that of a little boy. Christian does much better all around when Nathan is home. Even at 14 months, he knows when the family isn't complete.
3. I have a harder time sleeping at night when Nathan isn't here. I don't know why... I mean, I have the WHOLE bed to myself. :) I think somewhere in the back of my mind I must feel like I can't sleep deeply for fear that I won't hear Christian if he needs me. The irony to this point is that Nathan sleeps like a rock when he is here and most nights doesn't hear Christian AT ALL. :)
4. It is seventeen times harder to make it to church by myself. I either have to shower the night before or not shower at all. And Christian HATES the nursery, so it's a bazillion trips back and forth to calm a screaming baby. Not much from the sermon gets a chance to get through many times.
5. The longer Nathan is away, the more attached Christian becomes to me--quite literally. There is a small fear in my mind that this will continue after Nathan gets back... but I'm hoping that's not the case.
Suffice it to say, this has been a good learning experience for all! :) I am so ready, though, to have the complete family back together. I truly believe that God did not design in his perfect plan for us to "go it alone". I will never condemn anyone who is walking the single parent life---in fact, I commend you many times over. But, I understand the importance even more now of the bond that God designed between husband and wife and "mom and dad".
Give Me Jesus
3 years ago
2 comments:
Amen and yes to all those reasons. I pray that the transition back to normal is easy. Something I found that works for us is to reunite on neutral ground. Schedule a night away at a B&B or schedule a family vacation for *right* when he gets back. It makes giving up roles and reassuming other roles easier when you're not on home turf. Anyway, that wasn't what your post was about, but that's what came to mind. :)
Oh my goodness, I so hear you. Whenever Josh is working at the Academy even for just a week, I feel like - OH MY WORD, how do single parents do it?! You are the one, every moment of every day - every bath, every nap, every cry from the crib... it IS exhausting. I give lots of kudos to the single moms/dads, too.
And I also understand that sigh of relief when Josh walks in the door at night - he doesn't even have to DO anything, just knowing that he's there if chaos ensues is a comfort.
Hang in there, girl! Thinking of you!
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