I was struck today by the fact that I am very blessed, and it overwhelms me. I have had a few "harried" moments in this past week since Nathan left for basic. Nothing too over the top, but things that definitely make you want to get frustrated at the moment:
1. I fell down the stairs while holding Christian (don't worry we were both okay)
2. Christian has had two VERY fussy days, and I can't take him outside cause it's soooo cold out and he was getting over a cold last week and it's been cold and wet.
3. It is a bit unnerving to be paying bills still with the knowledge that we haven't had a paycheck come in for a month or so.
4. I've been exhausted the past few days for no apparent reason.
5. I'm trying to pack for three people with the knowledge that I will gone for a month.
But you know what stopped me in my tracks tonight? I have a friend online who just posted about one of her twin daughters choking on something a few weeks ago and going into a state of unconsciousness and not breathing for quite some time before medics were able to revive her. This little girl Cici is only 11 1/2 months old and on all kinds of feeding machines and in an intensive rehabilitation unit at their local hospital. She just came off the ventilator over the weekend. Jenny (the mom) was talking about going back to her home today for the first time since the accidenct 2 1/2 weeks ago. She has a four year old and Cici's twin Penny at home. She said that the house felt different when she walked in and that it would always be different, even when Cici came home, because doctors are pretty sure she won't ever fully rehabilitate.
I CANNOT even imagine what must be going through their minds and the pain of her heart and emotions. I cried just reading the post. I so easily stress over so many things, especially when it comes to Christian not cooperating or being in that stage of recognizing his independence and melting down when he doesn't get his own way.
But how blessed I am to have a child how is whole and healthy and vibrant...even when his little sin nature begins to rear it's ugly head! This was especially poignant in light of my two miscarriages as well. I acutely feel the loss of both those babies, but cannot imagine the fear that accompanies the possibility of losing a child that you have had the privilege of holding and rocking to sleep and watching milestones happen.
Cici now has to relearn many of her milestones...some she may never recover. How precious is each milestone that Christian accomplishes! I will not take that for granted. So here's my creed:
1. Live each day to the fullest because every moment God grants is a gift.
2. Love with my whole heart because I don't know when my last moment with my loved ones may be.
3. Breathe in the promises of my Savior because I refuse to give ground to the devil.
4. Abandon the temptation to live for myself.
5. Embrace the gift of serving those around me.
6. Walk daily with my God, because He's the One who holds it all anyway!
