A MESSAGE FROM CHRISTIAN

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Here's a few shots from a recent photo shoot my sister in law took recently! She's amazing! Check out her site: www.rlynnphotos.com

Overwhelmed

I was struck today by the fact that I am very blessed, and it overwhelms me. I have had a few "harried" moments in this past week since Nathan left for basic. Nothing too over the top, but things that definitely make you want to get frustrated at the moment:
1. I fell down the stairs while holding Christian (don't worry we were both okay)
2. Christian has had two VERY fussy days, and I can't take him outside cause it's soooo cold out and he was getting over a cold last week and it's been cold and wet.
3. It is a bit unnerving to be paying bills still with the knowledge that we haven't had a paycheck come in for a month or so.
4. I've been exhausted the past few days for no apparent reason.
5. I'm trying to pack for three people with the knowledge that I will gone for a month.

But you know what stopped me in my tracks tonight? I have a friend online who just posted about one of her twin daughters choking on something a few weeks ago and going into a state of unconsciousness and not breathing for quite some time before medics were able to revive her. This little girl Cici is only 11 1/2 months old and on all kinds of feeding machines and in an intensive rehabilitation unit at their local hospital. She just came off the ventilator over the weekend. Jenny (the mom) was talking about going back to her home today for the first time since the accidenct 2 1/2 weeks ago. She has a four year old and Cici's twin Penny at home. She said that the house felt different when she walked in and that it would always be different, even when Cici came home, because doctors are pretty sure she won't ever fully rehabilitate.

I CANNOT even imagine what must be going through their minds and the pain of her heart and emotions. I cried just reading the post. I so easily stress over so many things, especially when it comes to Christian not cooperating or being in that stage of recognizing his independence and melting down when he doesn't get his own way.

But how blessed I am to have a child how is whole and healthy and vibrant...even when his little sin nature begins to rear it's ugly head! This was especially poignant in light of my two miscarriages as well. I acutely feel the loss of both those babies, but cannot imagine the fear that accompanies the possibility of losing a child that you have had the privilege of holding and rocking to sleep and watching milestones happen.

Cici now has to relearn many of her milestones...some she may never recover. How precious is each milestone that Christian accomplishes! I will not take that for granted. So here's my creed:

1. Live each day to the fullest because every moment God grants is a gift.

2. Love with my whole heart because I don't know when my last moment with my loved ones may be.

3. Breathe in the promises of my Savior because I refuse to give ground to the devil.

4. Abandon the temptation to live for myself.

5. Embrace the gift of serving those around me.

6. Walk daily with my God, because He's the One who holds it all anyway!

A little this and that...

Visiting Cabellas in PA

This ride is soooooooooo fun!

I think he may have had a little too much. :)

Just performing his civic duty.

Said Goodbye to my Soldier...

Monday morning at 0900 I dropped Nathan off at the Lynchburg Armory to begin his trek to Basic Training and AIT for 4 months. He will be doing processing and some other things at Fort Lee in Petersburg for the next few days and then will be flown into Georgia for his time at Fort Benning.

The good news is, he gets what is called an "exodus" at Christmastime for two weeks...and he'll be home on Christian's FIRST BIRTHDAY! :) Let me tell you, I'm already counting down the days.It seems quite timely that Nathan is leaving the day before Veterans' Day. I am acutely aware this year of the many men and women who have sacrificed their time and sometimes their lives to protect the freedom that we enjoy in this country. I AM SO THANKFUL FOR THEM!

I was an Air Force "brat" while growing up so I am not totally unaware of the feelings associated with being personally involved in the military. But I must tell you, that this separation is one of the hardest and yet best experiences that I have had. I have never been more proud as a wife and an American citizen.I hope that we as Americans can relish the freedom that we enjoy and truly view it through thankful eyes.

We can have elections (whether we agree with the outcomes or not) because of our soldiers. We have free speech to express our beliefs (like a free network like facebook) because of soldiers. We have the ability to attend church and worship freely because of our soldiers. We have phenomenal educational resources because of our soldiers. We can rest our heads at night knowing that someone can't just barge in and drag us into a prison because of our soldiers.

WE ARE THE LAND OF THE FREE BECAUSE OF THE BRAVE. And I will gladly sacrifice my time with my husband for that.

I love Nathan dearly, and I'm so proud. Today when you walk outside of your own home into your own yard, go to your own choice of job, shop where you like, eat what you wish, and enjoy your choices of entertainment say a prayer for Nathan and all the soldiers like him who make this possible. HOOAH!

One week and counting....

In exactly one week I will say goodbye to Nathan and send him off to Basic Training at Fort Benning in Georgia. I'm excited to be walking forward to this next stage, but more excited to welcome him home at the finish line. :)

He does get an "Exodus" at Christmastime, so that's good! He'll get home on Christian's first birthday which is awesome! Then he reports back on Jan 1. He'll be gone until March. But this will open all kinds of opportunities for us. Is it weird to be excited about this? I mean I am not directly excited about sending him off...just what it means. :)

In any case, we're savoring the last moments this week and will send off our soldier with pride!

From a broken heart...

This is a cross-post from my facebook account. Forgive me for not wanting to re-write everything....

This week has already been a trial for us. For those who didn't know (and please forgive me there are many of you) we found out a few weeks ago that we were pregnant. We were a little shocked as this was not in the "plan" per say, but thrilled none the less.

However, God's plans were different for this little one than ours were. Monday, October 27th, I began to miscarry and God brought our little one home to heaven. I'm not going to lie... it hurts. Especially because this is the second child He's called home before we got to know them.

The hurt will pass, it always does. The memory of what could of been will remain... it always does. I am trying not to ask why... it doesn't do any good. For now , I breathe in and breathe out. Tomorrow is filled with new promises and God is always good, regardless of our circumstances.

We will mourn for our time lost with little Logan...but rejoice that God holds our child, and that Jordan has another playmate in heaven! :)I think this song sums up where my heart is right now:

Praise You in This Stormwords by Mark Hall/music by Mark Hall and Bernie Herms

I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down and wiped our tears away, stepped in and saved the day. But once again, I say amen and it's still raining as the thunder rolls I barely hear You whisper through the rain, "I'm with you"and as Your mercy falls I raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away.

Chorus: And I'll praise you in this storm and I will lift my hands for You are who You are no matter where I am and every tear I've cried You hold in your hand You never left my side and though my heart is torn I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind You heard my cry to Youand raised me up again my strength is almost gone how can I carry on if I can't find You and as the thunder rolls I barely hear You whisper through the rain "I'm with you"and as Your mercy falls I raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away

I lift my eyes onto the hills where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth I lift my eyes onto the hills where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth